a panic attack.
A small little victory.
Today is the first day in 40 that I have not had a panic attack. It's been a very long 40 days. I've got that feeling in the back of my throat that says one might still happen, but I'm being optimistic that I can keep it at bay with positive thinking.
I've been in therapy for a little over a month now. It seems to be working. My mind is a dark, twisted place. I feel as though I have the weight of the world on my shoulders, and the thought of less responsibility is sometimes a far scarier thought than doing what I am now. I am making headway.
There is so much that I want to do. I finally have goals in my life again. I'm trying. I want to love the person that I am. I no longer wish to change myself into a person that I can love. I am who I am and I'm going to embrace her. I want to be strong. I want to show my son that the sacrifices I have made for our lives are worth it.
And I want the panic attacks to be a thing of the past.