Nothing is as humbling as realizing that there are blessings hidden in the horrors of your own life. My bouts with cancer seem to have many many of these blessings tucked away in them. I'm coming to terms today with the latest one I've been shown.
I was diagnosed with ovarian cancer the summer after I graduated from high school. As a result, I struggled for many years with infertility. I had several miscarriages, both before and after Liam was born. I always knew that my problems were intertwined with the cancer in my ovaries. I always knew I was walking around with a time bomb in my womb. Six months after Liam was born, I decided not to play the infertility game anymore and had my remaining (then also cancerous) ovary removed and a hysterectomy. Being a mommy to Liam became more important than risking my life to have another child.
Today I'm thinking that knowing what the problem was must have been easier than not knowing.
I have a friend from high school who is fighting a similar battle. She has also had too many miscarriages. The difference is, she's not sure why. I know most people don't/won't/can't know why a miscarriage happens. But she has three beautiful boys, so something works sometimes, right? She's changing doctors, with a visit this afternoon. I'm praying that this doctor can help her. Fewer things in this world would make me happier than to see her happy, healthy, and 9 months pregnant with a healthy baby. My heart is in my throat every time she has a positive test. I cry when it doesn't take. I can only imagine what she's going through. (Okay, I have a VERY good idea what she's going through... maybe that's why I'm so invested.)
So, if you read my little blog, please say a prayer for my friend. She's always in mine. This might not have been the most eloquent post, but it's the most heartfelt.