Friday, January 15, 2010


It never fails. Whenever I think that my life is starting to get a bit sunnier, life throws a monkeywrench at my head. I must have been a serial (cereal) killer in a past life.

This week started off great. I started taking a tax class so I can prepare taxes, and maybe make a little extra moolah. I actually liked it. Then, on Tuesday, I had an appointment with my doctor to go over the progress I was making on the secret plan and to see about moving things forward. I've been working really hard, so I figured this one would be more or less a session of "You're doing good work, here's what you should do now." The nurse is super proud of me... brags on me to all the office staff... I'm actually kinda believing I did a good job. Until she takes my blood pressure.

This can't be right. My blood pressure is UP? She waits 10 minutes and takes it again. Down from the original, but still up. Scarily up. When a person loses 8% of their body weight, their blood pressure just DOESN'T go up. It almost always goes down.

She tells me not to worry, they'll check it again before I leave. It's going down, so maybe I just have "white coat syndrome." Yeah right.

The doc comes in and tells me I'm doing a good job, but the BP is definitely an issue. Great. Moving forward on the secret plan immediately comes off the table. "We'll revisit that, but first we have to figure out what's up with the blood pressure." Of course. It's not your secret plan. You're not the one in limbo. Let's play with BP meds for six months while we wait, shall we?

So, I'm starting to really think the day is going to go into the crapper. As he listens to my heart- I see the same look on his face that I got when that radiology tech found the cancerous tumor on my ovary way back when. Why don't healthcare professionals get taught to have a pokerface about this shit? Apparently my heartbeat is a bit irregular too.

So here's where I am. Had the EKG on my heart yesterday. Waiting to hear the results. They should come today. Step 2 of the secret plan is postponed until June at the earliest.

Scared to death? Yessir. That's me right now.

Thursday, January 7, 2010

New Years Resolutions

I've got a few.

I'm not normally the resolution making type, but this year I figured I'd give it a go. So maybe I'll have the goal in print and have some type of motivation to stick with it. Holding myself accountable and all that jazz. So here goes:

Resolution #1- Blog here at least once a week.
I know that sounds too simple, but look back at my previous posts. Last one was in September. FREAKING SEPTEMBER! I didn't forget. I didn't hide in a cave. I just neglected the blog. I did things. I did fun things. Things I'd have enjoyed sharing. Oh well. Life goes on. But hopefully this year I'll write more about it. Did I ever mention that I used to write a lot?

Resolution #2- Continue with the Secret Plan.
I've done pretty well on the Secret Plan stuff. Going Tuesday for a "big talk." That means I will either get some vindication for what I've been doing the last 15 weeks or I'll get a new direction. Either way, I'll come out of this a better, happier person. Trust me, you all want that for me.

Resolution #3- Send out Christmas Cards this year.
I added this one just in case I take a total crap on my life and fall flat on my face with the other two resolutions. I have 12 months to screw that one up. And I'm already halfway there. I have a bunch of Christmas cards already made up. I just got busy and didn't get them addressed or anything. I remembered that I hadn't done them on December 22nd. Too late.

So there we have it folks. Hopefully you'll hear from me again before another 3 months passes by. And if you don't... chew my ass out for it!