Friday, January 15, 2010


It never fails. Whenever I think that my life is starting to get a bit sunnier, life throws a monkeywrench at my head. I must have been a serial (cereal) killer in a past life.

This week started off great. I started taking a tax class so I can prepare taxes, and maybe make a little extra moolah. I actually liked it. Then, on Tuesday, I had an appointment with my doctor to go over the progress I was making on the secret plan and to see about moving things forward. I've been working really hard, so I figured this one would be more or less a session of "You're doing good work, here's what you should do now." The nurse is super proud of me... brags on me to all the office staff... I'm actually kinda believing I did a good job. Until she takes my blood pressure.

This can't be right. My blood pressure is UP? She waits 10 minutes and takes it again. Down from the original, but still up. Scarily up. When a person loses 8% of their body weight, their blood pressure just DOESN'T go up. It almost always goes down.

She tells me not to worry, they'll check it again before I leave. It's going down, so maybe I just have "white coat syndrome." Yeah right.

The doc comes in and tells me I'm doing a good job, but the BP is definitely an issue. Great. Moving forward on the secret plan immediately comes off the table. "We'll revisit that, but first we have to figure out what's up with the blood pressure." Of course. It's not your secret plan. You're not the one in limbo. Let's play with BP meds for six months while we wait, shall we?

So, I'm starting to really think the day is going to go into the crapper. As he listens to my heart- I see the same look on his face that I got when that radiology tech found the cancerous tumor on my ovary way back when. Why don't healthcare professionals get taught to have a pokerface about this shit? Apparently my heartbeat is a bit irregular too.

So here's where I am. Had the EKG on my heart yesterday. Waiting to hear the results. They should come today. Step 2 of the secret plan is postponed until June at the earliest.

Scared to death? Yessir. That's me right now.

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